Important Recall Notice
Regardless of make or year, all units known as
"human beings" are being recalled by the
Manufacturer. This is due to a
malfunction in the original prototype units code-named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the reproduction
of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect is technically termed "Serious Internal
Nontorahism",
but is more commonly known simply as "SIN".
Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect include:
* Loss of
direction
* Lack of peace and joy
* Depression
* Foul vocal emissions
*
Selfishness
* Ingratitude
* Fearfulness
* Rebellion
* Jealousy
The Manufacturer is providing
factory authorised repair service free of
charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Y'shua haMoshiach (a.k.a. Jesus Christ), has most generously offered to bear
the entire burden of the staggering
cost of these repairs. The number to call for
repair of models with the Hebrew module
installed is:
תפלה (Tephilah), and
for models with only the English module installed: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected please upload
the burden of SIN through the תשובה
(Teshubah)
/ REPENTANCE
protocol. Next, initiate a streaming download of
תורה - TORAH from the Repair
Technician into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small the
SIN defect is, following the instructions in
תורה - TORAH will replace it
with:
* Love
* Joy
*
Peace
* Kindness
* Goodness
*
Faithfulness
* Gentleness
* Patience
*
Self-control
Please see the
תורה -
TORAH human being operating manual for further
details on the use of these fixes.
As an added upgrade, the
Manufacturer has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct
monitoring and assistance by His very own source-code,
the Ruach haKodesh. Repaired units need only make Him welcome
and He will take up residence to assist in
applying continual
תורה - TORAH upgrades as they become known through
the streaming download.
WARNING:
Continuing to operate a human being unit without
corrections voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to
dangers and problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the
human unit being incinerated.
Thank you for your
attention.
Please assist by notifying others of this
important recall
notice.
Conference of Messianic
Yisrael